They Both Said No

The FIRST time she said it was about 2 weeks in, during their first conversation about sex. They had been dating for a bit, and things had been moving along great. They went out to dinner a couple times, did the whole ‘movie date’ thing and were inching towards her having him over to cook him her specialty. 

Chicken Piccata.

It wasn’t obvious, but rather implied that during this date, things would get a bit spicy. That they would both be dessert that night. Neither of them explicitly stated that, however, this was date number 4, which exceeds the American norm of the 3rd date being the time “it” happens. Either way, it was via text. The conversation. With Piccata night approaching, there was a need for them to discuss what they liked, how they liked it, condoms or no condoms, birth control, lights on or off. The whole 9. She wasn’t shy and neither was he. They jumped right in…

“Omg you like dirty talk? My fucking dream girl!”
“Yeah, I love it. It drives me absolutely wild. It’s honestly one of my favorites.” She smirked and shielded her phone just a bit more in her cubicle at work.

They continue…

“What about ass play?”
“Nah, not really into that kind of thing.” 
“Aww really? Why not?” 
“It hurts and just doesn’t feel good for me.”
“Oh, they just didn’t know how to do it right. It takes skill. I promise I’ll make you like it. The trick is that you need to ease into it. Slowly. I’ve had so many women tell me the same thing and they always ended up loving it. Trust me.” 

They left it at that. The subject was organically changed to how big he was and so on. To be fair, she never said the word no. She said ‘nah’ and ‘not for me’. But even still, in that same conversation a few minutes later, he referenced hygiene and the importance of cleaning himself off when moving from one hole to the other. She felt confused by it, but didn’t bother to correct or remind.

The SECOND time she said no, it didn’t even come from her. In fact, he was the one who said no to her! It was 2 nights before their “Piccata date”, around 10pm. They were on the phone in their own beds and words were spicy. Doors closed, clothing off, and breathing was heavy.

“Oh yeah?... and then what would you do?”
“I’d spread your ass and shove it all in”
…She rolled her eyes alone, and put her hand to the side because for her, the moment was over.
For him, it wasn’t, but she didn’t let him know that.
She just laid there and let him ‘finish’. And after it was done, right before they hung up, she said.
”Hey listen, I know we were messing around just now, but I’m really not into that whole ‘back door’ thing.”
“NO, baby I know. It’s just something I really really like so I brought it up. It’s a fantasy of mine, and honestly, my favorite thing to do in the bedroom. But I get it. “No ass play.”
The ‘I get it’ that came out of his mouth had a hint of sarcasm, but not enough to address it, and certainly not enough to ruin the moment. To be honest, she felt a little guilty. It was his favorite thing? He never told her that. Oh god. That sucks.

The THIRD time she said no was during Piccata night. It was good. The Piccata, not the sex. They had white wine, a tossed salad, and mashed potatoes. He was impressed, and she was proud. All day, she toiled over what to wear both with her dress, and what would be under it. She chose Black for both. Her thong had lace trim and a bow in front. Her friend ‘okayed’ the pics she sent for confirmation, and she wore lipstick that didn’t smudge. 

Piccata eaten, wine bottle empty, and make out sesh in full swing, she led him to the bedroom.
Freshly changed sheets, vacuumed floor, one candle lit… about an hour of prep… condoms in the nightstand… already had lube…Done and Done.

She turned the lights off and the music on. He laid on the bed and watched her dress fall to the floor. 

“Holy shit, you’re hot!”
“You like it? Good… it’s all for you”

She climbed over him, slowly…intentionally, giving him enough time to pull off his shirt and down his boxers.
They had sex. It was good. She had a feeling it would be. He was a pretty decent kisser. So she knew he had the ability to be slow and sensual. Things were going well…and then the dirty talk started. 
That one sentence “Give it to me, Daddy” drove him fucking insane. It leveled things up in more ways than one. She let out a giggle as he pulled her by her legs, off the bed and flipped her over. Fantastic! She loved that position. One of her favorites. He grabbed her by the hips and moved to guide himself into her. She felt the tip. It was the wrong hole, though. She knew it was a mistake. It was dark, things were happening fast and they were both ravenous.

“NO ::she giggled:: wrong hole” 
And so he put it in the right one and they continued. Simple.

The sex ended. She faked it, as she usually does. No big deal, she still enjoyed herself. She laid on his chest, both sweaty, both happy. She leaned over and grabbed the bottle of water she had strategically placed on her nightstand ‘Pre-Piccata.’ He chugged some, and offered her the rest. They had small talk about their day, and he asked if she minded if he vaped as he leaned over to grab it out of his pants pocket on the floor, they got back into position as he played with her hair. 

“I saw what you were trying to do there, buddy.”
“What?”
“Wrong hole… really? That was a nice try!”
…They both laughed a little harder than they should have….
“No I swear! Honest mistake!”

It wasn’t long before she was half asleep. He quietly snuck out of bed, gave her a kiss, and told her he was going to head out. She snuggled in, and said “Text me when you get home”

He did. 

7am. Her alarm went off and she immediately grabbed her phone for the most obvious of reasons. She smiled, scrunched her nose and read the text “I had an amazing time last night. You’re so fucking hot! ::insert red sweaty emoji:: can’t wait to see you again!.”

Things progressed naturally from there. A few more dates, 2 of them ending in sex. She finally got to see his place, met his roommate and fell in love with his dog. Things were moving along and then, the L word was dropped. They were now saying it at the end of every phone convo and before the last text each night. 

The FOURTH time she said no, she didn’t even know it happened. 

He was out with his friends. Boys night. The game was on and the beer was cold. It wasn’t talked about a lot because well, the fucking game was on, but one of them asked how things were going:

“I really like her, man.” 
“Oh yeah? is she hot?” 
…He whipped out his phone and proudly displayed her photo. They were all impressed…
“The only thing is that she’s not into the back door shit.” 
“Oh man, that sucks” 
“Yeah, she keeps saying NO and it’s like, she won’t even fucking try it.” 

Nothing else was said because the commercials ended at it was the fourth quarter. 

The FIFTH time was quick. She was doing dishes, he smacked her ass and said
“One day, I’ll get there” 
“Ha! NO you wont!”
“C’mon, it would be the best birthday present ever!”

7 months. They had been together for 7 months. She had met his parents; he went to her nephew’s first birthday party. They were ‘a thing’. It was more than official. Anal had become an inside joke at that point. One that he only shared with himself. Him saying “please?” occasionally during sex, would joke about it even with friends around, and brought it up one time during an argument.

…this is where the counting stops…

The counting didn’t continue.
There was no need for it anymore.
Because that night, he eased her in, slowly, just like he said he would do on the phone, the first time they spoke.

During doggy style that night, he brushed up against her hole with his finger. Ten minutes later, he slid the tip of it in, for less than a second. and then the entire finger went in.

That was it, though.
That’s all that happened.
His finger.

She didn’t need to say “no,” because it didn’t “officially” happen. She justified that it wasn’t really anal because it was just a finger. After it was done, he rolled over on his back and said

“Holy shit! that was fucking amazing. Definitely the best sex we’ve ever had.”

He didn’t mention why.
He didn’t have to.
Five minutes passed before he was spooning her and snoring.
She was wide awake.
Again justifying: it wasn’t really “officially” anal.

The next time, there were two fingers. That time, she got brave and said something.
"I really didn’t like that.”

He laughed.
“You just need to loosen up.”
It wasn’t worth the argument.

But
The next time…

It Happened.

It happened the time after that, too.

She didn’t say no.
She didn’t need to.
She didn’t say anything at all.

no more counting
no more jokes
it was never spoken about again

again
and again
and again